Holistic Therapist, Julia Keller recommends five positive ways to heal yourself from loneliness and reconnect with the world.
If you’re reading this, it’s probably because you feel lonely, either regularly or at least some of the time. Well you can take some solace in the fact that you’re not alone. In fact, the statistics on the growth of loneliness, both in the UK and US, are rather dire. Considering how technologically connected a world we are today, it may seem strange that we are less “connected” than ever as a human race.
The problem is that loneliness is not just a concern for us on an emotional level; it actually affects our entire wellbeing and significantly impacts our health. So, here are some quick tips on how to eradicate it form your life:
Look after yourself first.
Sometimes we feel lonely because we feel unhappy with ourselves or stuck in our situation without seeing a way out. Begin with taking care of yourself and helping yourself to look and feel great. Get your hair done or have a facial or massage or session with a trainer if you can. Or treat yourself to a new indulgent cream, hair product or outfit. Treat your body well by eating right (it may help to speak with a Nutritionist if you’re struggling) and exercising regularly (as much as your body allows in your personal situation). The idea is to show love and appreciation to yourself and to help yourself to look and feel good first so that you approach any situation already in a good frame of mind.
Visualise the life you actually want…
…and how good it will feel to have it. Visualisation has been linked with having a more positive frame of mind, more rapid achievement of desired goals and better health ever since it has received widespread recognition for its’ health benefits. By imagining a different life for yourself and imagining how wonderful it could feel, you create a bridge towards actually reaching that better life and begin to recognise that possibility. Not only does that signal possibility inside your own mind, but it creates the energy of possibility around you to attract what you desire towards you.
Make a list…
…of what you want in your life. I’ve been using lists with clients, with miraculous results, ever since I began coaching. The act of making a list forces you to think about what you actually want and causes us to concentrate on the positive of what we desire – hence temporarily relieving that feeling that comes with focusing on what we lack. Plus, by creating a list with practical elements (such as: “I want to have a group of 5 close friends who I can turn to when in need”, or “I want to meet someone special who adores and values me to spend the rest of my life with”, etc) we force our minds to contemplate the “how” of making these elements into a reality.
Join a group
The fastest way to meet people is to join a group. Think about what you’re passionate about or interested in and start there. One of my clients, who moved to London from abroad and was feeling lonely, met her partner when she joined a sailing club as she had a big interest in sailing. A friend of mine met her husband in a running club, and I’ve met countless women I became good friends with in a woman’s club I now run a chapter for. You can join one group or multiple groups. There are even plenty of apps and sites dedicated to helping you discover the best groups for you.
Force yourself to go somewhere…
…where you can meet new people at least two to three times per week. The Oxford English Dictionary definition of loneliness is “sadness because one has no friends or company”. Combat loneliness by making friends and finding company. That may seem baffling and tricky when you’re on your own, but it is actually much simpler than you think, though it requires discipline, some work and the setting of new habits. I generally tell my clients that they now have to make “meeting new people regularly” into a weekly habit. I recommend forcing yourself to go somewhere where the people you’d like to meet may be at least several times a week. Besides joining a group you attend regularly, you can join a class to learn a new language or skill; spend time in the local library or a café and actually chat with someone new; go to the gym or a sports club and talk to people who seem approachable; or even go to a bar, restaurant, or private members’ club you join or private garden you live by and just be friendly with people.
About the author: As a Holistic Therapist, Julia Keller helps women and men to look and feel better, from the inside out. Using Hypnotherapy, NLP and Wellness & Love Coaching, she helps you to reach your weight and confidence goals, to feel better about yourself, to handle life’s many stresses more easily and to look fantastic, so that you could then bring your best self forward when connecting with others and with that someone special. You can see more from Julia Keller on her website: www.juliakeller.co.uk, Follow her on Twitter: @JuliaKellerUK, on Facebook and Instagram: @coachjuliakeller and on YouTube (search Julia Keller Coaching). To schedule a free 30 minute Love & Health Tune Up call, go to Julia’s website, or click here.